Several days ago, my husband and I were driving down our small Southern California town’s main street and I let out a gasp. I was absolutely disgusted. It was November 1 and there, on the light poles, were (poorly designed) Christmas decorations. November 1! Our city doesn’t make the best cultural and civic planning choices so I don’t have high expectations for the decorations themselves, but seriously, Christmas trimmings on the first day of November? Are we skipping Thanksgiving altogether or simply combining the two? They aren’t even in the same color palette. What on earth is going on here?!
I realize every year, little by little, the Christmas season expands past what used to be considered the traditional holiday season, but where does it stop? At Halloween? Clearly, the establishment memo went out because the local Ace Hardware was selling Christmas decorations in October (those gigantic inflatables need to go back where they came from), and on the first of November Whole Foods had their check stand lights wrapped with evergreen branches and tied with red bows as well.
My family is accustomed to my annual grousing about this cultural phenomenon but I can’t help myself; it simultaneously annoys and saddens me tremendously. This is a dilution and erosion of a most cherished yearly observance as well as an insidious assault on our spirit.
Traditions matter
Growing up, Christmas was something I looked forward to with great anticipation. I was so excited when the day finally arrived that my mom hauled the boxes of decorations down from the attic, brought out the Christmas albums to play, and made a batch of eggnog.
It was around that same time that the classic Rankin/Bass animated specials—Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town—aired on TV for the one and only time that season. (Yes, one and only!) Those evenings were so significant to us as a family, so integral to the magic of the holiday, that they were circled on the calendar. I remember as a college student living away from home— before personal VHS tape players became commonplace—that I did the same thing: marked the evening Rudolf was going to be on and then took a break from my homework to get cozy in front of the TV to watch it for the umpteenth time.
It was special. I savored it. Comforting memories from my childhood embraced me like a warm blanket. I could feel my state of being start to change. The year was winding down, Christmas break was right around the corner, I could leave the stresses of school behind for a brief while, and go home to celebrate the holiday with my parents. I was so excited, I felt a hopefulness that got me through the homework waiting for me on my table. Life was going to be OK.
I was fortunate enough to marry someone who treasured Christmas even more than I did, so over the years, many bedrock Christmas traditions have taken root in our family. As we were building our own set of customs, I reflected on my childhood and realized that the anticipation, that excitement that grew out of daydreaming and planning, was almost as important to my overall sense of happiness as the holiday itself.
Cultivate anticipation
And with good reason. Study upon study bears out that looking forward to something—big or small—can lower stress and boost your mood. Simon A. Rego, the chief psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center and Albert Einstein College of Medicine, who has written extensively on the effect of anticipation, said in a New York Times article, “Imagining good things ahead of us makes us feel better in the current moment. It can increase motivation, optimism, and patience and decrease irritability.”
I’ve intuitively known this to be true. When our son, Alessio, was a child, my husband and I made a decision that, unlike many locals, we were only going to go to Disneyland—which is 45 minutes away—once a year. We wanted to make our visits special. Something to look forward to. We didn’t want him to think “Ho hum, we’re going to Disneyland, again.” Our plan worked…We had an annual trip with family friends just after Thanksgiving, and he looked forward to it all year.
Nowadays with holiday creep, they are literally blurring and fusing together, with no break as the Halloween pumpkins and cobwebs are immediately replaced with the bright balls of Christmas, and those in turn are instantly exchanged for the cupids and red hearts of Valentines. In this relentless rush to the next holiday, we are being robbed of experiencing the palette cleanse, the crucial lull where excitement builds and hopefulness and good cheer flourish.
Additionally, the pervasive presence of holiday decorations, products, and advertising for two months ahead of the actual day, dilutes its significance—it becomes commonplace, homogeneous, part of the fabric of the month(s). Ho hum, there’s more twinkling Christmas lights, again. By the time Christmas Day arrives, it almost feels like just another day in the protracted holiday season. Then people race to take everything down…the trees are at the curb on the 26th! Done! Christmas is over…what’s next!? Good grief…
An opportunity to build strength
Not in our house. Christmas is too important of a holiday to casually attenuate and it’s simply unhealthy for our spirit to create a mono-life. There is supreme wisdom to the natural rhythms of life that resides deep in our traditions and in our DNA. Unfortunately, I see this as a symptom of a greater cultural issue in that many accepted norms seem very appealing but are—at their core—beyond unhealthy. It takes fortitude and discipline to resist and even swim against the cultural current in the sea of sameness.
For me, it’s great training for health and wellness in general, as it strengthens the vital muscle of thinking independently and choosing wisely. Personally, I ignore the rows of end caps and displays until I’m ready. We have a strict rule that our much-loved Christmas movies and music wait until Thanksgiving…my husband sees that as Thanksgiving Day. We usually get our tree the second week of December (as we have it up until Epiphany on January 6) and put up the decorations at the same time. And even though our son has asked about Broguiere’s eggnog, it, too, comes after Thanksgiving.
In the meantime, I’ll keep my blinders on and allow the anticipation to build…naturally. First, we’ve got Thanksgiving yet to come that I’m planning for. After that, I’ll be looking forward to sitting in the living room by the glow of the tree and the warmth of the fire at Christmastime, winding down the year, hopeful for what the new year brings. Daydreaming of what amazing things are around the corner. All part of the grander plan to live well, age great.
Thank you, Doryce. I'll miss your rumbles! I wish you a very blessed Thanksgiving with your family.
Camy!! My sentiments exactly!! My lovely autumn wreath is still on our front door until after Thanksgiving weekend! I was also very unhappy that the Hallmark channel has been showing Christmas movies since October!!! However, I will begin gathering my ingredients for my holiday fruitcake and rumballs! Happy Thanksgiving to you and family’. Blessings’