Do Dreams Have an Expiration Date?

My strategy to dream on

The other day, as my husband Andrea and I were out driving, we landed on a thought-provoking topic. I can’t recall exactly what we were discussing that led to this, but he touched on his lifelong love of all things flight and flying, which then caused him to wonder aloud if his pilot's license was a dream that would ever come true…and if it did, was it too late?

Since his teens, Andrea has been enamored with flight. Although originally born in Rome, his family immigrated to the United States when he was seven years old, settling in the Redondo Beach area of California, where the aerospace industry was thriving in the 1960s and 1970s. Several of his friends’ dads were weekend pilots with small planes housed at the neighboring Torrance municipal airport. He often had the opportunity to fly with them to nearby destinations such as Catalina Island and up and down the California coast.

As an immensely gifted multi-disciplinary artist, his career path diverged from his love of aviation, but the yearning to fly has been a constant in his life. He often runs outside to catch a glimpse of whatever is buzzing low overhead, and he can typically identify the plane, whether it’s a new state-of-the-art Cirrus or a vintage WW2 fighter. (I have a funny story I’ll leave to another time about his first visit in August to my hometown of Tucson, Arizona, and his insistence on visiting the Pima Air Museum. Think of acres of black tarmac and infernal desert heat.) 

He has a flight simulator here at the house to practice real-time flight patterns, and over the years, he has taken a handful of lessons. However, the commitment of time required to get his pilot’s license has so far eluded him. Every so often, when we are out early hiking, he will look up and comment on what a beautiful morning it would be for a flight. It’s always on his mind.

So, hearing him wonder if it would be too late for him to accomplish this dream broke my heart, probably because I knew exactly how he felt…I had been contemplating similar doubts about my own dreams. 

I said something that surprised me: even if it's only plausible to have his license for a short period, so what? It’s better than no time at all. Enjoy it while he can. Let’s say he knew he had about a five-year time limit on being able to fly once he got his license; know that going in, set expectations accordingly, and thoroughly make the most of those five years. (I’m not sure where I got five years…. I just pulled it out of thin air—so to speak—to illustrate my point.)

The reality of time
This was an unexpected “aha” moment for me, as I had been mulling over a parallel misgiving that it may be too late for some dreams. Not because of any physical or mental limitations (thank goodness, touch wood) but because the runway is simply too short…I’m starting to think I’ve almost—perhaps not entirely—run out of time to achieve certain things, and it’s a strange and sobering realization.

The subject and substance of the aspirations aren’t as important as the defining factor: time. It simply wasn’t part of my thought process when I was in my 30s, 40s, or even my 50s. I always thought I had enough runway…time ahead of me to do whatever, fill in the blank. But time is immutable, and for whatever reason, it’s now emerging in my mind as the limiting factor in the equation of life.

Lifeblood
Dreams, goals, aspirations…whatever they are called—are our lifeblood. They can sustain and propel us forward. In reflecting upon the older people with whom I’ve journeyed into their 70s, 80s, and sometimes 90s, the ones who were the happiest were those who had a dream, a goal to strive for, and who were in a perpetual state of either planning, doing, or achieving—and then repeating the cycle as goals were attained and new dreams emerged.

My husband’s dear friend was Dick Bass, entrepreneur, adventurer (the first man to climb the Seven Summits), and the ultimate dreamer. Dick was 64 when he and Andrea first met, and over the next two decades, they traversed the globe from Antarctica to the Swiss Alps. In all that time, we never knew Dick not to have a dream of some kind fueling his aspirations.

Ever the proverbial “Dutch uncle” issuing firm but benevolent advice, Dick had many “Bassisms,” as Andrea affectionately called them. One of his favorites was, “It’s my hopes and dreams of the future that sustain me in my present agonies.” (Dick had a flair for the dramatic.) Admittedly, he was a very unique individual in a rare life position. Actually, he was a force of nature who could at once be exhausting and exhilarating. He possessed many kernels of wisdom; chief among them was that the human spirit is happiest when doing, planning, striving…dreaming. 

Dick indelibly influenced our life. I often think of his tireless life force, especially now, looking into my future when sometimes I wonder—as I did that day—when will it be too late for dreams? Then I remember all the living that Dick did in the last whirlwind 21 years that we knew him, from our first meeting at age 64 to the end of his life at 85, and I realize that this is yet another aspect of aging that is entirely my choice and within my control.

Strategic dreaming
To keep dreams alive, I may need to adjust my thinking or reframe my perspective. Prioritize. Perhaps I become more strategic, more selective, or reorient my expectations. For instance, the other day, I was thinking how much Andrea and I had hoped to have a cabin or lake house to escape to on the weekends that we could someday pass on to our son, Alessio, and that would serve as a touchstone for him in adulthood. Now, I’ve revamped this aspiration… Although we didn’t achieve that during his childhood, we can strive to create this respite for our grandkids. (He’s only 17; we’ve got a few years, and I’m dreaming big!)

As for Andrea, he has passed on his love of flight to our son, who had his first foray behind the yoke at the age of 10 (and did great!). My dream for both of them is that they can someday soon go to flight school together, get their pilot licenses, and fly to the famous Oshkosh Air Show for diehard aeronautics fans. Now, that would be a dream come true!

More than dreams
Dreams and aspirations are too critical to our souls and well-being to abandon, regardless of whether or not they will come to fruition. Although this has made me a bit wistful, I won’t waste time kicking myself for not accomplishing all of the dreams and aspirations I once had. I plan to rethink, refashion, and repackage them into new, improved dreams to strive for.

This underscores the importance of prioritizing a holistic, healthy lifestyle and fitness regime so I’m ready and able to enjoy whatever fabulous dream materializes. Having a fresh perspective helps me recommit to being the best I can be. It’s all part of the journey to live well, age great.

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