Don't Let the Old In

What the mind wills, the body follows

The other day I was listening to Megyn Kelly interview no-nonsense Dr. Laura on her podcast, The Megyn Kelly Show. While it was a wide-ranging interview, there was a particular segment about Dr. Laura’s personal life that resonated with me. Dr. Laura was discussing some remodeling and improvements she was making to her home. This prompted Megyn to ask Dr. Laura about a recent fall, and if age-proofing the house was part of the renovations…considering that Dr. Laura was in her early 70s.

Dr. Laura quickly clarified that her fall had nothing to do with age (she’s actually very fit, I consulted Google), it was merely a mishap of her sneakers getting caught on the carpet or something of that nature. Yet Megyn pressed on: wasn’t she going to be changing a few things in the house to accommodate her age? After all, Megyn’s own mom—who isn’t too much older than Dr. Laura—was already using a cane and sometimes a walker, so age-proofing a home was on her radar. It clearly wasn’t anywhere near Dr. Laura’s purview and she seemed slightly annoyed at the mere suggestion that her age made such assumptions a given.

Mindset and the power of thought
This struck a chord with me because it illuminated two schools of thought about age, with one that holds people back from leading full lives. I saw it happen with my own mom. There is a preconceived notion of what older people are able to do, and people fall in line with that belief, thus making it a self-fulfilling prophecy. Years back, I was sitting with my neighbor on the front steps of her house and when she got up (which was a little bit challenging) she said with a groan, “This is what 60 feels like…” and the first thought that popped in my mind was, “Only if you let it.” Of course, that’s not what came out of my mouth—thank goodness! I think I managed a wan smile.

That snapshot moment stayed with me and I’ve reflected on it often. I find myself thinking “I just don’t want to be like that as I age”…groaning as I get up and accepting that’s as good as it gets… Similar to Dr. Laura, letting my age define how I live simply isn’t part of my thought process. (As evidenced in the picture above of me at 59 on an extreme adventure course, 15 feet up.) This may challenge conventional orthodoxy, but attitude is the foundation of living well and aging great. We have the ability to control how we think and how we approach life. That’s the power of thought.

Don’t let the old man in
In an interview with Express.co.uk, Clint Eastwood was asked about his secret to aging and he recalled what a friend of his in his 90s told him: “‘Never let the old man in.’ And,” the star added, “he never did. When I read that, I thought, “Wow, I love that!” As Mr. Eastwood is working in his 90s, he obviously lives the same Ageosophy.

I don’t mean to be over simplistic; I know it’s not really that simple…or is it? Lewis Howes writes in his book The Greatness Mindset, “The right thoughts, emotions, and actions lead to who we want to become.” I wholeheartedly believe we can apply the same principles used for achieving greatness to how we age. We can picture who we want to be, what sort of life we want to have, and let that inform our actions. My husband and I had the great fortune to have had just such a role model (whom I wrote about in Magical Moments) and whose actions followed his thoughts: Richard “Dick” Bass.

What the mind wills, the body follows
When Andrea first met Dick Bass in 1994, Dick was 65 years old and Andrea was 32. They struck up an unlikely friendship but they were two peas in a pod and considered themselves kindred spirits. It all began with Africa—several months after they first met—where they climbed and summited the continent’s tallest mountain, Mt. Kilimanjaro. Over the ensuing 20 years of kinship, they continued to traverse the globe, having soul-filling adventures in countries like Italy, Switzerland, Germany, France, Chile, and even Antarctica.

Dick’s mantra (one of many which we fondly refer to as “Bassisms”) was, “What the mind wills, the body follows.” That was precisely how he lived. At the age of 55, he became the first man to stand atop the tallest mountains on each continent, a feat which came to be known as the “Seven Summits.” Ten years later, when Andrea climbed with him in Africa, truth be told, he was not in quite the same physical shape. But he was innately strong and an intrepid outdoorsman, and that strength and fearlessness combined with his steely will kept getting him up (both metaphorical and physical) mountains! Dick’s attitude was the primary driver of his actions. He simply didn’t see himself as being too old to do anything—and his body followed his thoughts.

Dick Bass, 69, and Andrea Favilli—Antarctica, 1998

Prepare your body to support your thoughts
Naturally, even the strongest mind can’t will an unfit and unhealthy body to achieve the impossible. The same article about Clint Eastwood went on to say that he prioritizes his diet and has more than a handful of healthy lifestyle habits that include plenty of sleep, moderate exercise, and being optimistic…a pretty solid combination of principles.

On a quest in my late thirties to get back in shape, Andrea and I joined the Y down the street from our home. This particular Y had a great mix of young and old clientele, with older people making up the majority of the super early morning crowd. Treadmills, free weights, swimming…they did it all. I vividly remember a spry little lady—I’m going to take a wild guess and say the was in her late 70s or so—on the treadmill next to mine. With perfectly coifed hair, leisurely street clothes, and a romance novel to read, she would ramp up the incline and set the machine to 3 miles an hour for her 45 minutes. Every once in a while she would glance over with a grandmotherly smile, as I struggled to keep up her pace. It was humbling.

Andrea and I frequently remarked how much these early bird seniors inspired us as they were regular fixtures month in, month out. Always with a smile and nod. I often left those wee morning hours at the Y thinking that’s what I wanted to be like in my 80s and 90s, of the mindset to get up, get out, show up, exercise, and live…year in, year out.

Let your thoughts empower your actions
I believe that aging is a sum of our choices and that these choices begin with our thoughts. Just a couple of days ago Andrea and I were struggling to get the top of our son’s industrial-strength Yeti water bottle unscrewed, as he had cinched it down and suction sealed the deal. As Andrea was gripping with all his might, he started saying there was a tool to open jars in his workshop and perhaps we needed to have one in the house, but in the next breath he said, “No, it’s probably better we use our muscles to open them…”

Ahhh! That’s the power of thoughts in action. Thoughts that lead to choosing who we want to be. In that ordinary moment, our thoughts were to be people who could victoriously unscrew that stubborn water bottle on our own, which—in turn—will motivate us to stay strong in order to be the people we see in our minds. (By the way, after I sufficiently loosened the top, Andrea was able to unscrew it. A team effort sans mechanical assistance.)

It’s within your power to “not let the old in,” to live a strong, flourishing life not a groaning, withering, weak one. It begins with our thoughts and what the mind wills, the body follows.

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