If You Don’t Stop, You Won’t Get Stuck

Staying out of life’s ruts

One of my fondest memories of the street I grew up on in Tucson is of my neighbors who lived two doors to the east. Although other childhood memories have faded, I can still see this couple in my mind. (Interesting which memories stick.) For the life of me, I can’t recall their last name; although I know I addressed them as “Mr. and Mrs.” because my mom (good for her) forbade us using adults first names, I remember them as Sherman and Grace. What lovely people they were.

I didn’t have grandparents, but if I had, I would have wanted them to be like Mr. Sherman and Mrs. Grace. They oozed kindness and warmth. Mr. Sherman looked a bit like Mr. Rogers—he always swapped his business blazer for a sweater vest when he came home from his pharmacist job. Mrs. Grace’s uniform was a pastel dress patterned with flowers, fresh apron, and slightly heeled, black lace-up shoes. I remember she used to bake up a storm, so there was a steady supply of freshcookies.

They were the quintessential elderly couple and as a child I thought the world of them, except for one little thing…I didn’t want to be like them when I got old. I don’t know why on earth my very young mind zeroed in on this notion, but as wonderful as I thought Mrs. Grace and Mr. Sherman were, I saw they were stuck in a previous decade, or maybe even two. Perhaps it was wildly presumptuous of me based on their attire and antique furnishings, but I’ll go out on a limb and say it extended to most areas of their lives. Even in my immature state, I intuitively knew this might not be a good thing.

Avoiding ruts
As I’ve gotten older, every so often their images have popped into my mind, because one of my overarching goals is to remain open and current as I age. I think there is a tendency to get a little stuck as we age, mentally and physically. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The biggest difference I’ve observed between those who stagnate and those who thrive is a simple matter of forward propulsion. As my husband’s dear friend, Dick Bass, espoused, “If you don’t stop, you don’t get stuck!”

I had a powerful lesson in my mom who lived with our family for the last decade of her life. By the time she moved in with us in her mid 80’s, her physical and mental worlds had gradually been closing for untold years, simply from not using her body and mind. For a variety of reasons, as she aged, she moved less and less. And less movement begets less movement. It’s a pernicious cycle. She had stopped reading magazines that she once enjoyed or doing puzzles, and watched TV nearly all day…primarily news and Food Network.

The physical is obvious and quantifiable and has the most immediate impact. The mental is more gradual and invisible but just as profound. This isn’t age-related brain fog, which is another issue I’ve touched on in Your Brain Health is in Your Hands. This is mindset. Our frame of mind is such an important driver to our overall health and well-being, yet so easy to overlook. Perhaps I’m more aware than most because I’ve made my living as a creative for 40 years (oh heavens, did I say 40 years out loud?!), which requires me to keep my mind open to the world around me. I need to be aware of current events and market trends in many industries, and these are frequent topics of conversation with my husband Andrea, which helps to broaden my view and keep my thinking active. 

Curiosity and learning lead the way
Luckily, I am somewhat naturally inclined to many of the drivers that urge forward momentum. I find many subjects interesting, I’m very curious, and I enjoy learning. I’m also continually looking for ways to improve—which may be a key to that forward thrust. On the professional side, almost daily Andrea and I discuss how we can do something better. A project, a process, a habit, how we organize our studio…you name it, we analyze and try to improve.

Thankfully, this curiosity and affinity for learning spills over as well to my personal life, health, and well-being—especially important in a world of rapidly evolving and changing information. I gobble up everything I can find about these subjects and I’m finding new, updated (and sometimes contradictory) information every day that requires me to rethink and re-evaluate.

For instance, eggs were once demonized by governmental agencies, doctors, and nutritionists. Because of a purported link to high cholesterol, the guidelines since the 1980s were recommending one egg a week. Since I’m a pescatarian, eggs have been one of my staple protein sources for decades, so I usually have at least one, if not two eggs a day…with no cholesterol issues. Lucky for me, there is a new peer-reviewed meta-analysis (a summary of many studies) that shows absolutely no link between eggs and an increased risk in all-cause mortality…and just like that, recommendations have changed to one egg a day for most adults.

The conventional wisdom pendulum is always swinging and recommendations have flipped on many foods, such as red meat, which is no longer associated with cardiovascular or cardiac mortality. Coffee, dark chocolate, and red wine have all transitioned from “bad” to “good” lists. While I’m not prone to jump on bandwagons, I’m very open to new information and carefully weigh the pros and cons in order to decide how best to apply it to my life and make a change for the better. Naturally, I’ll be sharing what I learn with fellow Ageosophers as I go!

Shifting mindset
As you may recall from my post Let Your Feet Talk to Your Brain, over the last year I’ve been discovering the benefits of going barefoot and have made a dramatic change in the shoes I wear (most of the time are zero-drop minimal shoes), which I believe is a game changer for longevity. It’s been a transition, but every day I see more and more upside and I’m so grateful to have shifted my thinking.

It’s easy to get stuck in both mental and physical ruts and inertia is something I, too, have to combat constantly, but I’m hyperaware that standing still leads us first to stagnate, then to wither. This is where mindset is so critical: we need to remain open and flexible in our thinking to change and improve. I read a wide variety of sources and listen to a landscape of different podcasts, even a very diversified mix of music from classical to rock to reggae. I prefer the forward momentum of learning and changing. I work to stay curious, explore new topics and information, try new things, go new places, and steer clear of black lace-up shoes. I’m fairly confident if I don’t stop, I won’t get stuck.