Long before the Fly Lady extolled the virtues of a clean sink and Admiral McRaven ordered you to make your bed, my mom had a similar nightly ritual that I fondly remember. Mind you, my mom wasn’t a particularly tidy person. Truth be told, she had packrat tendencies in cupboards and drawers, but the kitchen was a different story. There, she was uncharacteristically fastidious. She was adamant about cleaning immediately after dinner—leftovers wrapped and put in the fridge, dishes in the dishwasher, pans washed, dried, and put away. All of this had to be done before any plopping down for “TV Time” in the Motz household. After the last pan was put away and the counters cleaned, she would turn off the overhead lights and leave the under-cabinet ones on like night lights.
Once settled into our little den/TV room that adjoined the kitchen, I remember looking over, seeing a soft glow from the ambient lighting, and thinking that it looked like the kitchen had been put to bed. It was such a comforting feeling. I’m not sure my mom could articulate the benefits of this habit—other than she wanted to clean while she still had the energy to do it and a crumb-free kitchen helped fend off scary Arizona-sized cockroaches. Now that I’ve been mindfully developing strategies for my life, I’m realizing there is untold wisdom in this practice.
Beyond Clean
As you may have surmised, I have continued my mom’s tradition. While I do it for slightly different reasons than she did, I nonetheless have made it a rule our family does not leave a dirty kitchen—no matter what. Even during the 20 years of a very protracted kitchen renovation when we didn’t have a dishwater (yes, 20 years, no dishwasher…it was really, really protracted), at the point the overflowing holiday dishes piled up, we did whatever we needed do to make sure the kitchen was clean, regardless of tired feet or aching backs. That may sound extreme, but for me to stay up past 9:00 is pushing my limit… and yet I can remember many bleary-eyed late nights toward the midnight hour, Andrea and I washing and drying crystal, china and silverware. I bargained with myself there were just two holidays a year that required that sort of a set-up, and I could suck it up for a worthy cause. And waking up to a clean kitchen is a very worthy cause.
But is it more than just a clean kitchen? And why is the kitchen so important?
In our home, the kitchen is the heart of the house, it is the gathering spot…it’s where (other than the bedroom) I spend the majority of the day. And yes, it goes way beyond the mere act of cleaning. As I’ve gotten older, simplifying life and bringing order and peace into our home feels more and more important as the outside world feels out of control. This seemingly innocuous habit pays dividends that become apparent when put into practice.
Accomplishments Beget Contentment
I’ve had many difficult periods in life, and one of the tools in my life toolbox that got me through was the satisfaction of small accomplishments, things you could stand back and look at and say “I did that. It’s done!” Even the smallest task, once completed well, can impart a tremendous feeling of self-satisfaction that fuels the emptying gas tank I speak about in The Ten Tenets of Ageosophy. We all need these small triumphs throughout the day to balance the inevitable shortfalls. The smallest feats can turn out to be the biggest achievements.
How You Do Anything, is How You do Everything
I don’t remember where I first heard it, so forgive me for not knowing who coined the phrase, BUT, this is a mantra of ours: how you do anything, is how you do everything. The small chores train you for the big undertaking. Wax on, wax off. (We all remember Mr. Miyagi, right?) When you make a point to do the very best you can with the most mundane, seemingly insignificant task, you train yourself to approach other aspects of your life with excellence. It’s training and practice. Cleaning your counters and putting everything in its place is excellent life conditioning.
Controlling Your Sphere
When my husband and I bought our home in 1992, our neighbors were a lovely elderly couple—Don and Dolly. Don had recently retired as a machinist and was home the majority of the day tinkering around the house and yard. Initially, Don was a very gracious and affable guy, but as time passed, my husband and I noticed him becoming more and more persnickety and overprotective about his corner of the world—a surprise since he was once so congenial. It’s taken me a few decades to put this together, but what Don was doing was simply human nature, especially at a time in his life when he felt that decisions were being made for him. But his yard, his home…those were in his grasp and became his focus. The meticulously lined-up rock garden border was more than a design statement, it was his way of keeping his world in order and in control. We may not have much control elsewhere, but like Don and the yard, we have total control over the state of our kitchen.
Order is Calming
What do Disneyland and spas have in common? Order is the underpinning of the peace and comfort their guests experience. I remember when Disneyland closed every Tuesday (seriously, I really do) to clean, paint and tidy up. Walk into a spa and I doubt you’ll see piles of boxes precariously stacked on the floor or items strewn about on the counters and shelves. They go to great lengths to create calming, restful environments, often decorating very minimally and purposefully—which translates into a tranquil environment. Both know well that disorder and chaos are unsettling, while order promotes a sense of tranquility.
Put the Day to Bed
There is a line from the movie The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio that struck me then and has stayed with me since. The movie is a touching real-life story of a woman who rescued her family by writing advertising jingles in the 50’s. After a particularly difficult day, Evelyn Ryan said to her children, “Let’s go to bed. I’m tired of this day. I need a new one.” When I heard those words, I thought, “oh my gosh, what a great way to look at life.” Just the other day, I was dragging, trying to ward off a bug my son brought home from a scouting trip, and compounded with the stresses of life, I felt drained. I said to my husband, “I’m turning the day in, I need a new one.” I went to bed even earlier than normal and woke up feeling sooooo much better. It was a new day. When I turn off the lights in a clean kitchen, I’m closing out the day and turn it in for a new one.
There is a fascinating parallel between putting the day to bed and physically rebooting the brain through sleep. Sleep is the brain’s mechanism to flush out the day and start fresh in the morning. The old adage to look at something with fresh eyes in the morning comes from a very real, physiological condition.1 Walking into a clean kitchen first thing in the morning is so peaceful and at the same time so energizing. No baggage from the previous day. New possibilities.
Kitchen Strategies
I may be a bit of an odd duck in that I prefer nearly empty counters, almost Shaker-style austerity, everything put away out of sight. A wide-open counter is much easier to clean and eliminates the dreaded clutter that creates disarray. As designers, we are able to achieve this simplicity through very intentionally-designed cabinets, and mindfully selected kitchen tools. I don’t buy what we don’t need or use, and consequently don’t have excess items to store. The only items on display in the kitchen are on the cookbook wall, which intersperses travel keepsakes among the books...it’s our living scrapbook.
When cooking or baking, another habit I picked up from my mom is to clean as I go. As soon as I have several bowls or pans in the sink, I take a quick break and wash them. Even after a day of Thanksgiving cooking, all the preparation ware is back in its place before dinner is served. I do everything I can to mitigate an overwhelming and daunting job at the end.
I’m a line-upon-line, brick-upon-brick kind of person. Everything builds on what precedes it. I don’t let dishes or mess accumulate throughout the day. After each meal, everything is washed and either left to dry, loaded in the dishwasher or put away, and the counters are wiped down (easy, there is nothing in the way). The evening is the big “clean sweep.” After the routine washing of the dinner pots and pans and filling the dishwasher, I clean the range top and give the counters a final wipe. We make sure anything that has been inadvertently left on the island is put in its place, wherever that may be. Ceiling lights off. Under counter lights dimmed. Mission accomplished. The kitchen has been put to bed, and I’m ready to bring on tomorrow.
Are We “Brainwashed” During Sleep? New BU study reveals the first-ever images of cerebrospinal fluid washing in and out of the brain during sleep https://www.bu.edu/articles/2019/cerebrospinal-fluid-washing-in-brain-during-sleep/